Crazy Random Facts I Found Out!

Can you believe this??? A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (O.M.G.!!!)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. Creepy!

(I'm still not over the pig.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home . What the...?)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.

(30 minutes. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

(I still can't believe that pig ...quality over quantity.)

Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (Okay, so that would be a good thing.)

A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder how much the government paid to figure that out.)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that, too.)

Polar bears are left-handed. (Talk about a southpaw. Gosh I'm clever!:)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig? Do the dolphins know about the pig?)

New Job Woes

Well, I started my full time job this week. It’s a lot harder than I thought it would be for the soul purpose that my WHEELCHAIRS KEEP DISAPPEARING!!! I can handle the people coming in here looking for the elevators that are literally RIGHT in front of them, or the people suddenly surprised they live in America and don't believe that I can't speak spanish. I can even handle the child running around my fishtank a hundred times, screaming at the top of his lungs while his mother has her phone plastered to her ear. But the Nancy Drew's Case of the Mysterious Wheelchairs has got to end!

I remember, the previous girl who had this job use to complain about the wheelchair situation. I remember thinking, “Geez, they’re just wheelchairs, calm down.” OH MY GOSH!! It is SO difficult! I know this sounds like the dumbest work problem EVER – But there is nothing worse than a patient coming in needing a wheelchair and there aren’t any left.

I am in charge of 12 wheelchairs and when I come in the morning there are like 5 there! I feel like a frustrated shepherd! Rounding them up is a joke! I asked the secretaries here how Lyndsey used to handle it… They just said, “Every department called her the Chair Nazi… She’s ruthless.” What a lame thing to be a Nazi about. I get that way when I lend someone one of my TV Seasons on DVD. But everyday it gets harder and harder and I find myself getting meaner and meaner. Today was the last straw.

I thought this was so funny, I had to blog it. This is an email conversation between me and my best friend, Natalie:

From: Ashley Romrell
Sent: Friday, September 23, 2011 11:40 AM
To: Natalie Godnick
Subject:
This guy came and grabbed a wheelchair, ran outside, got his mother out of the car, then ran inside. The elevator door was open and he BEELINED for it. He got in, just in time for the door to close. I don’t even remember grabbing my clipboard and pen but somehow I got to the door just in time for my leg to catch it!!! The door opened, and I calmly said, "What's your last name sir?" He was like, "*Exhale sharply* I'M GOING TO BRING IT BACK!" "Yes, I'm sure you are. What's your last name sir?" Hahahaha

This is going to be a problem... I can feel it!

Sent: Friday, September 23, 2011 1:48 PM
To: Ashley Romrell
Subject: RE:
HAHAHA I LOVE IT!! Oh my gosh I love you! LOL THIS IS SO FUNNY! I CAN JUST SEE YOU DOING THIS!

The elevator is about to close when suddenly, a sexy high heeled foot stops the door. The man looks at the heel and his eyes follow the smooth tan leg up to her torso, peeps at her chest, and then to her face. She’s got dark loosely curled hair and black square glasses. There is a clipboard on her arm and a pen in her hand, “Excuse me sir, what is your last name?” “I’ll bring it right back!” She lowers her glasses to her nose and looks at him intensely. “Yes, I’m sure you will. What is your last name?”…. “…Johanson,” he whispers, as he bows his head in shame.

Oh this email killed me!!! We are so funny!!

So the adventure begins… I need a name even SCARIER than The Chair Nazi. Something that will strike fear into the hearts of men (and that freaking child running around my lobby). So help me out here. I need good, scary name... and costume ideas =)

I seriously wonder how long it will be before I tackle someone to the ground? It’s going to happen…