Crazy Week of Confessions!

Sorry this post is so long!!! I know they're not supposed to be...

So last week, I found out that I can get a bachelors degree in like a year and a half after I’m done with my Associates. It’s something I’m really not interested in but there isn’t anything I can’t do with this degree! I could do whatever I wanted! It applies my Associates of Applied Science Degree (Which I got with my hair school) and that’s why I can get it done so fast. I will graduate with a Bachelors of Science in Technology Management. Doesn’t that just SOUND cool!?  Man, I’m so stressed!!! I have the next 5 years of my life planned and seriously, I felt nothing could get in the way. I’ve been SO gung ho about school the last two years I’ve completely blocked everything else out. Well now I’m done with hair school so I feel a little lost… but now I have another plan so it’s gung ho again… *sigh* I’m so tired to think about it…

This week has been SO CRAZY!!! I don’t even know where to start. Ok, I’ll try to give you the short version. (Background info) My Esthetics instructor, Suzi’s her name. She’s completely fabulous! She’s all about the energy of the universe, everything happens for a reason. Horoscopes, Reflexology, mind over matter, etc. She’s crazy cool! I believe in ALL that stuff too. I just don’t practice it… But she’s completely fantastic and I love her with all my heart. (Background info over) So Monday, I went into class and my thumb went numb. It was horrible! I was like, “Oh crap! This is like a stroke thing right?” Hahaha so for like an hour, I just kept trying to feel SOMETHING in my thumb. It was like getting shot up with Novocain. It was horrible! So Suzi was like, “I’m sure you’re just overstressed.” I’ve heard of faces going numb but only for a day or so. She said, “Come over here and I’ll do some energy work on your thumb.” Hahaha! I was all for it. Like I said, I totally believe in all that stuff, as unusual as I think it is.
So I go over there and sit in front of her. She takes a vile from the end of one of her many necklaces and opens it (just essential oil.) She puts a little drop on my thumb and starts to rub it in. Then she takes both of my hand in hers and closes her eyes. I was getting SO into it … So she was doing all this “Energy work” You know, cleansing my ora, giving me positive energy. Then I opened my eyes and she had tears running down her face. I was like, “WHAT THE CRAP?!” She just had tears streaming from her eyes. I was like, “Oh crap… I have cancer… I’m going to die.” Then she opened her eyes and said, “I’m sorry – I don’t know why I’m crying…” I didn’t say anything. She went on. “Ashley (which was weird itself... She always calls me Batina) … You like your life *pause* Scheduled – don’t you?” “Yes.” “Everything you do revolves around your schedule. Not just daily life but your future and your goals…” “Yes.” This was so creepy. This woman knew nothing about me and yet she knew everything about me! “You have the next few years of your life planned and you’re on a path to get there.” “Yes.” “Ashley… your guardian angels are telling you to Stop.” (WHAT?) “You’re so focused on your goals that you’re missing out on your life. You need to slow down and gain some balance back.” (My parents have been telling me this for over a year) She went on, “Your guardian angels are trying to communicate with you, but you don’t listen. I get the feeling you pray – you just don’t listen.” At this point, I’m sobbing! So was she. We were just crying together. She kept going, “It’s good to have goals but you’re missing out on opportunities that could change your life. You need to take risks, you’re extremely careful about what you do in your life cuz you don’t want to detract from your goals.” She was SO RIGHT!! I’ve said that for years! I haven’t really dated anyone cuz a guy would just get in the way of my goals and mess things up. I haven’t been open to anything cuz I have my life planned out already. She kept going, “You need to start listening to God and your guardian angels. Stop being focused on your plan and start being open to the plan that the universe has for you. Take risks, start living your life. If you don’t, you’re going to look back and ask yourself ‘What if?’" I have been so scared for years of what she was telling me and it was all true! I just couldn’t believe it…
So I left school that day, went home and told my mom and she started to cry and said, “Seriously Ash. She was so right. You’re life is completely out of balance. You need to take time to get your life back in balance. With singing, music, spirituality the most. You’ve been neglecting everything that makes you happy because they were ‘getting in the way’”

Anyway, so I decided that day that I was just going to be more open, take risks and not regretting them. So this week has been INSANE!

I’m trying to finally patch things up with a close friend of mine. Our friendship has been really awkward since he’s been home from his mission and I just want things to get back to normal. We are still trying to work things out and talk it over but it’s good to FINALLY get things clears away and move on.

I texted this guy who I’ve had a crush on for two years but the last few months have been unbearable! Don’t even know the guy and still, I think he’s so fantastic. (Part of the reason is my cute mom thinks he is.) I think my hopes dramatically rose a few weeks ago after I showed Suzi a picture of him. She said we would be SO cute together. Then, she said she got “very strong vibes from the picture” After closing her eyes and contemplating a bit she said we were going to get married and have 3 kids (two boys and a girl) Bahahaha!! I love her!!!!

Anyway, I texted him and said, “Hey Jeff, I just have to get this out. I think you are so fantastic and I’ve had the biggest crush on you for a very long time! I know nothing will ever come of it since you’ve never shown any interest in me. I just had to tell you. I think you’re so smart, talented and crazy cute!” He wrote back and was like, “Wow! Thanks! I’m flattered… who is this?” I was like, “I can’t tell you – too embarrassed.” He said, “You don’t have to be embarrassed. I admire your boldness.” After a while. I said, “It’s Ashley Romrell. I’ve asked you to hang out twice with no luck. I accepted my rejection until recently when I started telling my friends about ‘this crush that will be the death of me’ did the peer pressure begin.” He was like, “Wow. Well, thanks for being bold and telling me. I think it would be fun to get a group together to something fun sometime.” I was hoping for more of a “Really? Oh praise the heavens and the stars! I’ve been in love with you too but you’re just so amazingly fantastic I never thought you would return my love! Marry me!” Hahaha just kidding. I was quite disappointed but oh well. No regrets. We talked a tiny bit and I just said, “Well, it was thrilling to talk to you Jeff. Have a good night.” And that was that. I don’t’ expect him to text me ever again but at least I don’t have to wonder ‘What if?’ Hopefully this confession I shared can gain me some closure… Whew…
All I need is a great guy who will make me laugh, go on long walks in the rain and take me to the opera - Is that too much to ask? :-/ Bahaha!

This week has just been so insanely crazy and I hope it continues to bring new things that will change my life. I’m going to really try to be open to more possibilities now and grow closer to my Savior. Trust in him to lead my life without directing him where it should go. I need to have more faith in the Lords plan for me. I really do. I’m so grateful for everything that happened this week and really believe that I needed to hear everything I’ve heard.