Tuesday, August 9, 2011
No words can describe this message I needed to learn...
You don’t have to twist yourself into a pretzel to become someone you are not. You don’t have to squeeze yourself into a tight little box to fit someone else’s expectations. God and your Divine right that you are his, have given you permission to be yourself.
Breathe a sigh of relief. Let go of what you have been holding onto so tightly. Open your hands and release your spirit. Let the Divine Presence enter the temple of your heart. Allow healing to begin. Allow growth and change to happen. It will be all right. Let life flow through the center of your being. Bask in the sunlight of God’s love. You are beloved and you are becoming. God is removing all obstacles, all stumbling blocks, all sin, disappointment, and failure. You have spent too much time beating yourself up for the wrong reasons. No one needs to tell you about your sins, your shortcomings, and all the times you failed to make the right decision and follow through on it. You know these things in you heart of hears. Your very cells carry the memory and the pain.
But God does not leave you in your misery. The Divine intent is life – Christ is the fullness of life itself, and you share in that fullness. Healing, forgiveness, and love are there for you. Open your heart and open your hands – You can and will receive it.
You have permission to receive this loving flow of healing. You do not have to earn it, or buy it, or steal it from someone else. The ever flowing fountain of life streams from the center of your heart through God. You just need to ‘Be still, and know that I am God.’ Be sill in the silence of God’s love and acceptance.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Crazy Week of Confessions!
So last week, I found out that I can get a bachelors degree in like a year and a half after I’m done with my Associates. It’s something I’m really not interested in but there isn’t anything I can’t do with this degree! I could do whatever I wanted! It applies my Associates of Applied Science Degree (Which I got with my hair school) and that’s why I can get it done so fast. I will graduate with a Bachelors of Science in Technology Management. Doesn’t that just SOUND cool!? Man, I’m so stressed!!! I have the next 5 years of my life planned and seriously, I felt nothing could get in the way. I’ve been SO gung ho about school the last two years I’ve completely blocked everything else out. Well now I’m done with hair school so I feel a little lost… but now I have another plan so it’s gung ho again… *sigh* I’m so tired to think about it…
This week has been SO CRAZY!!! I don’t even know where to start. Ok, I’ll try to give you the short version. (Background info) My Esthetics instructor, Suzi’s her name. She’s completely fabulous! She’s all about the energy of the universe, everything happens for a reason. Horoscopes, Reflexology, mind over matter, etc. She’s crazy cool! I believe in ALL that stuff too. I just don’t practice it… But she’s completely fantastic and I love her with all my heart. (Background info over) So Monday, I went into class and my thumb went numb. It was horrible! I was like, “Oh crap! This is like a stroke thing right?” Hahaha so for like an hour, I just kept trying to feel SOMETHING in my thumb. It was like getting shot up with Novocain. It was horrible! So Suzi was like, “I’m sure you’re just overstressed.” I’ve heard of faces going numb but only for a day or so. She said, “Come over here and I’ll do some energy work on your thumb.” Hahaha! I was all for it. Like I said, I totally believe in all that stuff, as unusual as I think it is.
So I go over there and sit in front of her. She takes a vile from the end of one of her many necklaces and opens it (just essential oil.) She puts a little drop on my thumb and starts to rub it in. Then she takes both of my hand in hers and closes her eyes. I was getting SO into it … So she was doing all this “Energy work” You know, cleansing my ora, giving me positive energy. Then I opened my eyes and she had tears running down her face. I was like, “WHAT THE CRAP?!” She just had tears streaming from her eyes. I was like, “Oh crap… I have cancer… I’m going to die.” Then she opened her eyes and said, “I’m sorry – I don’t know why I’m crying…” I didn’t say anything. She went on. “Ashley (which was weird itself... She always calls me Batina) … You like your life *pause* Scheduled – don’t you?” “Yes.” “Everything you do revolves around your schedule. Not just daily life but your future and your goals…” “Yes.” This was so creepy. This woman knew nothing about me and yet she knew everything about me! “You have the next few years of your life planned and you’re on a path to get there.” “Yes.” “Ashley… your guardian angels are telling you to Stop.” (WHAT?) “You’re so focused on your goals that you’re missing out on your life. You need to slow down and gain some balance back.” (My parents have been telling me this for over a year) She went on, “Your guardian angels are trying to communicate with you, but you don’t listen. I get the feeling you pray – you just don’t listen.” At this point, I’m sobbing! So was she. We were just crying together. She kept going, “It’s good to have goals but you’re missing out on opportunities that could change your life. You need to take risks, you’re extremely careful about what you do in your life cuz you don’t want to detract from your goals.” She was SO RIGHT!! I’ve said that for years! I haven’t really dated anyone cuz a guy would just get in the way of my goals and mess things up. I haven’t been open to anything cuz I have my life planned out already. She kept going, “You need to start listening to God and your guardian angels. Stop being focused on your plan and start being open to the plan that the universe has for you. Take risks, start living your life. If you don’t, you’re going to look back and ask yourself ‘What if?’" I have been so scared for years of what she was telling me and it was all true! I just couldn’t believe it…
So I left school that day, went home and told my mom and she started to cry and said, “Seriously Ash. She was so right. You’re life is completely out of balance. You need to take time to get your life back in balance. With singing, music, spirituality the most. You’ve been neglecting everything that makes you happy because they were ‘getting in the way’”
Anyway, so I decided that day that I was just going to be more open, take risks and not regretting them. So this week has been INSANE!
I’m trying to finally patch things up with a close friend of mine. Our friendship has been really awkward since he’s been home from his mission and I just want things to get back to normal. We are still trying to work things out and talk it over but it’s good to FINALLY get things clears away and move on.
I texted this guy who I’ve had a crush on for two years but the last few months have been unbearable! Don’t even know the guy and still, I think he’s so fantastic. (Part of the reason is my cute mom thinks he is.) I think my hopes dramatically rose a few weeks ago after I showed Suzi a picture of him. She said we would be SO cute together. Then, she said she got “very strong vibes from the picture” After closing her eyes and contemplating a bit she said we were going to get married and have 3 kids (two boys and a girl) Bahahaha!! I love her!!!!
Anyway, I texted him and said, “Hey Jeff, I just have to get this out. I think you are so fantastic and I’ve had the biggest crush on you for a very long time! I know nothing will ever come of it since you’ve never shown any interest in me. I just had to tell you. I think you’re so smart, talented and crazy cute!” He wrote back and was like, “Wow! Thanks! I’m flattered… who is this?” I was like, “I can’t tell you – too embarrassed.” He said, “You don’t have to be embarrassed. I admire your boldness.” After a while. I said, “It’s Ashley Romrell. I’ve asked you to hang out twice with no luck. I accepted my rejection until recently when I started telling my friends about ‘this crush that will be the death of me’ did the peer pressure begin.” He was like, “Wow. Well, thanks for being bold and telling me. I think it would be fun to get a group together to something fun sometime.” I was hoping for more of a “Really? Oh praise the heavens and the stars! I’ve been in love with you too but you’re just so amazingly fantastic I never thought you would return my love! Marry me!” Hahaha just kidding. I was quite disappointed but oh well. No regrets. We talked a tiny bit and I just said, “Well, it was thrilling to talk to you Jeff. Have a good night.” And that was that. I don’t’ expect him to text me ever again but at least I don’t have to wonder ‘What if?’ Hopefully this confession I shared can gain me some closure… Whew…
All I need is a great guy who will make me laugh, go on long walks in the rain and take me to the opera - Is that too much to ask? :-/ Bahaha!
This week has just been so insanely crazy and I hope it continues to bring new things that will change my life. I’m going to really try to be open to more possibilities now and grow closer to my Savior. Trust in him to lead my life without directing him where it should go. I need to have more faith in the Lords plan for me. I really do. I’m so grateful for everything that happened this week and really believe that I needed to hear everything I’ve heard.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
"17 Miracles". . . and just a few in my own life.
The story was fantastic, the costumes were great and the makeup was beyond fantastic! It really portrayed what it must have been like. It was just such a great movie with so much truth and hope in it. A great Testimony builder. I am so grateful for the faith of those pioneers. They were willing to give EVERYTHING they had including their lives for the opportunity to step a foot into Zion. Those who didn't make it left profound words before they died such as, "It will all be worth it if my posterity stays true to the faith." and "Tell my son I died with my face turned toward Zion." They knew of the truthfulness of the gospel just as I do, but I left wondering, could I give as much as they did? A woman on a church history tour I went on said something in her testimony that I think of on occasion. She said, "I can say, 'I know the church is true,' but can I say, 'I am true to the church?'"


My amazing Dad who is SO strong to this gospel. I've never known anyone more knowledgable about this work and not only knows it, but teaches and lives it everyday of his life! He, along with my Mom and latter day pioneers. He is everything I want in my own eternal companion. I am SO lucky to be his daughter and say we are so much alike, it's scary. I wouldn't change a thing about him and would live every moment of ours together again. He has always been such a fantastic Dad! I remember when he would read to me everynight. He would tell me to look for words on the page. I never tire of his wise counsel and look forward to many more years of it.
I am so grateful and proud to be the daughter of this true and talented couple in Zion :)

And the last person I would like to mention is my close friend, Kade Smith. Kade is so amazing and I hope everyone has someone in their lives for a friend like I do with Kade. He has been my friend since I was 13. I met him in the eighth grade. I don't remember what class I had with him or if I just met him in the lunch room but he has always been a kindred spirit. I will always cherish our memories together. Full of music, laughter, and spiritual experiences. Kade went through a period in his life after high school that although may not have been the best decisions a person could make, I know it shaped him into the INCREDIBLE person he is today. He is such a great example of faith, Endurance and the healing power of the Atonement. I've seen him grow and come so far and I couldn't be happier for him. I couldn't be more proud of a friend than how proud I am of Kade. I hope he knows how wonderful he is and how much I love and look up to him.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Remember Me?
Things have been SO super crazy in my life! HUGE mistake taking summer school. I was SO wiped out last semester that I thought I had enough momentum to make it through the summer. BIG mistake! I am going crazy! If I didn’t have my Cos-Girls (slang for “Cosmetology Girls” – It’s a hair school thing) I don’t know what I would do! But there are a lot of laughs that happen long before any of the normal people in the world are awake. I only have four more weeks left so YAY!! Who wants to take me out to dinner to celebrate? Anyone… Hello?
Saw 17 Miracles this week with my good friend, Kade. (He’s very handsome – and single, ladies if you want me to set something up;) Anyway, the movie was SO fantastic! I cried at least 16 times!! (One of the Miracles wasn’t worth crying over…) Kade and I were the only two people in the theater under 75. A lot of wheezing and blowing into cloth handkerchiefs. . . I couldn’t get over how fantastic the filming, costumes and especially the makeup were! I can’t wait to take my parents (tonight).
We have been into summer for two months now and I have not been swimming ONCE!!! My sister and her boys go like every day! They’ve turned into little Cherokee boys. And my sister looks like Pocahontas! (I hate her) Every time I think I’m getting more and more tan, Aimee walks in and I feel like we could get a gig doing a duet as Ebony and Ivory! So if anyone is going swimming, let me know, I’ll come!
Work has been good. I still work on weekends at a hospital. It’s dead on weekends! (the patient flow, not actual people that are dead everywhere) I work with this guy name Blaine now. He’s a security guard here on weekends. He manages the three buildings that are closed on Saturdays and Sundays so he just sits with me all weekend. We get along great. The first couple months were WAY fun! We’d play games, talk for hours and hours. I told him more about myself than I have told any guy in a VERY VERY VERY long time. He was just so nice and understanding, non-judgmental and really genuine. But like every relationship – Work or otherwise, the Honeymoon phase died off and now we sit in silence for 8 hours. Hahaha But no, Blaine is great and I’m going to miss him when he leaves.
So that’s pretty much all that’s been going on with me. I’ll try to keep you posted on the Epic things that happen in the life of Batina – I’ve been really slacking.
Friday, April 22, 2011
3rd Day before Easter
04/21/2011
Passover started and Jesus told His disciples that one of them would betray Him. He then introduced the sacrament to them. Jesus went to the Garden of Gethsemane to suffer for our sins and pray mightily to God. Angry priests and townspeople came to arrest Him. The disciples fled in fear.
What an important day this was... I don't even know if my words can express my feelings towards this day of our Saviors life... I really don't think there are words to express the debt each of us owe that will never be repaid. Words cannot describe what Jesus Christ went through that night as he felt more pain then anyone can even begin to imagine. All the sins, the hurts, the pains both physical, mental and emotional. For all of God's children. Every single one including me and you.
All I can say is, I am SO GRATEFUL for the blessing the Atonement is in my life. The infinite gift that brings hope, joy and comfort in every aspect of it.
I know the Atonement is real. I have felt it's healing power in my life and the life of my family and friends. I know that Christ is mindful of each one of us. D&C 18:10, The worth of every soul is great in the sight of God. Consider the lilies of the field. Everything beautiful around us is a gift from Him. I am so blessed to have this testimony I share with you all. . . reflect on what the Atonement means to you and your life.
Please watch this video and if you would, post your comments about how you felt during it.
4th Day before Easter
4/20/2011
Although the scriptures don’t say what Jesus did on this day, we can imagine He spent the day with His disciples, perhaps telling the parable of the ten virgins. See Matthew 25:1-13.
5th Day before Easter
Jesus taught people in the temple and on the Mount of Olives.

One of His disciples, Judas Iscariot Agreed to turn Jesus over to the priests in Exchange for 30 silver coins.

Now I know at some point in all our lives we have asked ourselves, "How could someone, not just anyone, but a witness of Christ, betray him for money." I'm sure when we think about it, we're not only mortified but disgusted at the thought. And yet - How many times to we deny our testimony for wordly things like money, acceptance, and pride? Think about this next time you hear this story. It is my prayer that we never sell our Savior out in exchange for riches of the world.
Don't sell your testimony for empty promises.